I’m super deperssed the past few days. I can’t seem to stop eating and I can’t lose weight since i’m to busy shoving food in my mouth. I don’t know why I can’t stop eating and eat right. I’m not really sure what to do.
Well hoely crap bpopel, I’m engaged!!!! My honey asked me to marry him on the boardwalk on wildwoo*d while eating Chick*ie and Pet*e’s fries. It was the best. The date was Friday Septemeber 16th!!!! I know we’ve had some very rough spots, but it’s been really nice for awhile now. We’ve had many talks about what’s wrong in our relationship and we have both been working towards fixing it, and guess what, it’s better.
Never Forget 9/11/01
I will never forget this day 10 years ago. I was pregnant with my son and watched all of this unfold. I still utter BS that people would do this. I’m pissed no one is helping our service people who were there that their cancer was not caused by this. These men and women gave their all and are getting sick for doing their jobs. Someone needs to help then now also. They helped us then, we need to help them now.
Well I’m stating to wonder if Blogging isn’t done. I’ve noticed people post more on twitter or FB then they do on their blogs. I know for myself I would rather just spout off something on FB then sit here and type a post. Or there are days were just typing 140 charcters or less is better. A lot of blogs that I used to follow have closed up, or do not post as frequent as they did. Has anyone else seen this? Ok well enough of that….
My oldest stepdaughter who is in the nav*y is now preggers. I’m not to happy about this because she’s only beenwith her BF for a few months. I’m also not thrilled because she might have to leave the nav*y if she can’t get her orders to stay here. He will not go with her anywhere, which I thinks sucks. Why is is the woman who has to give up everything when they have babies? So she is trying to get her orders here so we shall see….
My son is doing well. I’m glad I did the biofeedback. It does seem to be making a difference. He is now acting more his age and I’m happy to see that. His ODD is showing its self a bit more, but that could be age and normal too. LOL He is almost 10 so they do get an attitude around that age anyway. He is still my sweet boy to me. He still wants to snuggle and we take time every night just to talk. He’s a trip and I love that little guy so much. He’s learned how to go under water now and he trys to dive an all kinds of stuff. I’ve seen so much growth from him this year it almost makes me want to cry. Pretty soon he will start 4th grade.. man that is like wow…. He’s still smart as a whip but wants to rush and make silly mistakes, I really hope he stops doing that this year. Oh well back to work 
Oh yeah…. The boyfriend and have been talking about marriage, and I have to say I’m kinda happy about that…Things have turned around with us and it’s very nice…
Well me and the boy just got back from Disn*ey and I have to say it was a fun trip. We had a good time. I am a little worried about my son’s lack of having fun. Well no let me take that back, he did have fun at Disn*ey but doesn’t know how to have fun here at home. He takes all sports so serious and I’m not liking that. He isn’t good at sports and gets so upset if he’s not good. I have to find some way for him to find the things he is good at and go with it. Well anyway we spent a week down in the magic King*dom and it was fun. I got to spend some great time with my boy. The only real drawback was it was to freaking hot. The heat caused my mom to have issues and we had to leave one of the parks early, which sucked cause it was the park with the most things to do. I will give a proper update over the weekend, I’m really tired today and have a bunch of stuff on my mind. My man is getting neck surgery tomorrow and I’m a bit upset about that, my son is having self esteem issues that I need to fix now so hes not all f’d up in the future….Ok I’ll be back…
Ok so I’ve been MIA for a bit and I needed it. Me and the BF are doing much better. I had to reconnect with him and that was hard, but I have to say we’ve been doing it. We are a bit closer now and I do feel better about things. He has to have neck surgery soon to fuse some disc’s that he messed up at work. We are spending time outside and spending time with friends. I leave in TWO WEEKS for Disn*ey with the boy and my mom. I am so looking forward to this trip!!!! I hope we all have a good time. My setpdaughter (youngest one) is due to give birth this month. I am not thrilled at all, I feel she made a HUGH mistake with her life. Heck I’m not sure if she even knows the father of the kid. My other stepdaughter made her rank in the Nav*y and she’s super happy. I’m so very proud of her. Life is going well at the moment, just trying to save for our trip. After this trip we are going camping in July. That should be fun to see how my son handles that one. Well back to work for now…
I really need to update this blog more…. Well Friday was a year that my stepdad died. That was a bit of a rough day. I did a lot of baking this weekend. Check out my baking blog. www.cornerofmyworld.com/cupcake. I’ve been spending a lot of time baking , it keeps me calm and relaxed. I really need to get better at it so maybe I can make some side money. Speaking of money, I need to find a way to upgrade my IT skills so I can get a better job. I need to make more money and I have no chance of upgrading here at my current place. I need to be able to afford things better on my own so I can get rid of my current BF. I know that sounds mean but it’s the truth. I’m not happy anymore and he just drives me NUTS. I just want to be alone….
Wow is all I can say. The Biofee.back is working wonders for my son. We’ve been doing it since January 7th and I have to say he’s now off his afternoon meds. I’m super happy about that!!! He’s becoming so much easier to deal with, his teacher see’s TONS of improvement. He’s learning that no means no and not debateing with us. His grades are wonderful. He learned HOW TO RIDE A TWO WHEELER!!! That right there is a big thing. He got on it the other day and was using his legs to push himself on the bike, so I told him to put his feet on the peddle’s and peddle. Well he did and off he went!!!! He’s becoming such a little boy. I know that sounds strange, but as long time readers know, my son has many issues. I have to say some of the issues are resolving themseleves and I really believe the biofee.dback has A LOT to do with it. I’m so glad I went and explored non trational methods of treating his AD.HD. I still use meds, but this is also helping. I’m sorry I have not been around, but I’ve been busy with life and watching my boy grow up. I haven’t wanted to say anything because I didn’t want to jinx it. Life is still there. I’m coming up on 40 in a few months, so I’ve been looking at my life and figuring out what I want to change so I can be happy. That’s been taking up a lot of time. Well back to work…see ya on the flip side.
Ok so here is the deal. There is no more excuses on why I’m heavy. I’ve been watching Ru.by and yes that woman has a real deep issue that has caused her to be as big as she is. I had the same issue and Idon’t remember most of it. There are time were I was “touched” when I thin but people I didn’t want to touch me. Do I think that’s part of my issue on why I’m heavy. Well hell yeah it is, I know in my mind I’ve always said I wanted someone to love me for me, not what I looked liked. I didn’t start saying that motto if you call it that until after I got touched wrong several times. Now here’s the deal….That was in the past….It was NOT my fault and why do I suffer for these “men” doing this to me. I’m done hiding behind this fat. I want the world to see ME. ME is thin and funny and cute. So I need to stop making excuses and take charge of what I put in my mouth. I need to stop being lazing. So that’s where I am…
Wow I can’t believe it’s been a month since I’ve updated. Well the diet is going, I’m losing a SMALL amount of weight, but I’m losing so that’s good. I need to move more. The biofeedback is going pretty good for my son. We did have an issue here and there but overall I think its working. Hopefully things will get better because I can’t handle calls at work over my son’s behavior. On Monday I got two calls because my son was being an a$$ and they had to call and tell me. I think they should deal with it and write me a note or make a call at the end of the day; I can’t have them calling me every time he acts up. Do I agree that he should not be acting up, so I agree? Do I agree he’s wrong, oh hell yeah I agree. I’m tired of the school telling me they can handle him and then calling me like that. They know I’m working on this, they know I’m doing what I can but for fucks sake stop calling me. I’ve asked for daily progress reports that I’ve been assured I will get and I don’t. I’m not medicating my son anymore, they can kiss my ass. So I’ve also decided depending on the cost to take him to behavioral therapy. That might have to wait a bit, again depends on the cost. I’m putting out enough money now as it is. I’m tired of them telling me my son is growling at them, I flat out asked them how would they like him to express his anger and frustration if he can’t “growl”. Now when I say growl it’s urrrggg, you know what I mean. I mean heaven forbid if he shows frustration. He has an issue with writing assignments, we are working on that, they cause him A LOT of stress. The school knows this and I don’t think they are helping him with some of the suggestions I’ve given to them. If you help him with a topic and let him know there is NO time limit he can relax and get through it. I’m just frustrated right now with them and him. Ok I need to get back to work. See ya